


I just want to know why?

by orphan_account



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Family Angst, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:25:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Depressed after a final rejection from Lady P, Scott goes to check on Gordon finding him asleep he examines him closer, he's shocked by what he see's. Determined to be a better brother, he starts spending more time with Gordon, who along the way starts to develop feelings for him. Scott being the self sacrificing person he is knows another rejection would cause a relapse or worse, decides to oblige. Things will never be the same again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners.  
> The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  
> The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  
> No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> WARNING!!! This story contains reference to self harm and suicide please if you have tendencies to either do not read.

WARNING!!! This story contains reference to self harm and suicide please if you have tendencies to either do not read.

 

"This is Thunderbird 1 ETA 5 minutes." 

"FAB" 

After safely landing in the hanger, Scott breathed a sigh of not only relief but exhaustion, the mission had been long and draining luckily everyone survived with only minor injuries.

"Hey there Scott!" Alan's chippy voice greeted him," Good rescue shame I was stuck doing home work." He grumbled. 

Scott couldn't help but laugh, in the ever changing world Alan and his homework were a constant, " Next time sprout." Walking back to his room without any more distractions, he took a shower put on some clean clothes and decided a nap was in due order. 

Waking up a few hours later, feeling refreshed he went downstairs. Everyone was in the living room, all except, Gordon if Scott was honest he actually missed him a little, having barely seen him in close to 5 weeks.

"Where's Gordo?" He asked taking a seat Opposite Virgil, this caused them all to snicker. 

"He's probably sulking." Alan said, Scott raised a brow urging him to go on," Lady P finally told him he would never have a chance with her." 

Rolling his eyes, " Took her long enough, he'll get over it." The rest of the evening was spent bonding over some ridiculous bear show on the TV.

It was around two am when Scott after finishing his paper work decided to turn in, walking down the long hall way he almost proceeded to his room, however he decided to turn back and check on Gordon, a hint of a smile on his face, his baby brother had gotten his heart broken but it was for the best.

"Gordo?" He knocked gently, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep, finally getting no answer he pushed the door open to find the normally messy room surprisingly clean.

Laying there in the middle of the bed was Gordon, satisfied by what he'd seen the elder Tracy went to leave, a metallic clink stopped him. Turning back he went over to the sound of the noise, tiny on the now pristine floor was a thin blade it appeared to be dirty, bending down to pick it up his hand trembled when it dulling agent was reflected from the outside light. Blood.

Scott was now alarmed he needed to know if he was imaging things, surely Gordon couldn't be harming himself, lifting the covers his heart broke there was thin lines of blood staining the once pristine sheets. 

Worse was his once pristine skin was littered with the tell tale signs. Some looked years old while the ones near his ankles were fresh. 

Gently replacing the covers, he bent down and kissed his bothers cheek before  leaving. 

Shakily he entered his room sliding down the now closed door guilt swept over him, how could he not have known?, how could he not have noticed the signs?.

Tears sprung up at the corners of his eyes, he was supposed to be his older brother and protect him from all dangers how did he fail to protect him from himself.

He didn't know how long he had been there till a knock on the door was heard, opening his eyes he sighed," Coming." On the other side stood Gordon his normally vibrant eyes seemingly void of light.

"Grandma told me to get you, breakfast is almost ready." Scott only nodded, he continued to watch Gordon for the rest of the day making sure he didn't make it obvious, he still joked around but now was more careful of his movements, coming to think of it his sleeves had gotten a bit longer and his beloved 3/4 shorts had mysteriously disappeared.

The decisive moment was however when he caught a snippet of the heated conversation between Alan and Gordon in of all places the laundry room.

"You promised me you'd stop." Alan spoke softly.

" I did look it's just a relapse OK." Gordon tried desperately to get past his younger brother but Alan was having none of it.

"No Gordon this ends now or I will go to Scott and tell him, you need help." The youngest pleaded," This isn't healthy."

"What I need is for you to back off." Pushing past Alan almost knocking him down.

Scott Knew he had to do something.

After dinner that night he all but cornered Alan and dragged him to the least used part of the house, Johns bedroom. 

"I didn't do anything I swear." Alan had already gone into defense mode.

"How long?" Scott cut straight to the point.

Alan was now genuinely confused.

"How long have you known he's been hurting himself?" Scott replied calmly.

" I don't know what your talking bout." Alan's loyalty to Gordon was astounding.

"While I find your loyalty to him fills me with pride, I over heard your conversation this afternoon." 

Alan's face paled," It's not what you think." 

"Then what is it Alan ?, I went into his room last night found a bloodied razor and the scars to prove it."Quirking an eyebrow.

With this Alan finally broke down," I wanted to tell you, but I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone." The youngest said between sobs," He needs help Scott and I don't know what else to do."

Engulfing his little brother in a hug, Scott finally understood how much it weighed on the teenagers mind. 

"Alan it's OK, please don't cry." Scott sat down comforting him until he finally regained his composure," Alan if you want me to help him you need to tell me everything." 

Alan looked hesitant, before unloading two years worth of Gordon's struggles on Scott, who felt even worse after Alan had finished.

"Alan I'm going to adjust the ship rotations, I need to keep an eye on him do you think maybe for 3 months you would part with Thunderbird 3 and take over 5."

Alan smiled slightly," If it means he gets the help he needs i'd gladly part with her."  

Rotations seemed to go down fine with everyone all except Gordon he seemed rather angry, so it was no surprise when he barged up to his desk later that day.

"Did he tell you?" Anger pouring out of him.

Scott simply raised an eyebrow," Did who tell me what?"

"Alan what did he say?"

Scott dropped the papers he was reading and beckoned him to sit. " Please tell what what Alan would have told me for you to be reacting like this?" .

Gordon immediately calmed down," Oh... I mean I thought because you switched up the rotation he may have said something."

Scott shook his head," Nope, I just wanted everyone to be familiar with how the other ships operate encase of emergency."

Gordon got up and hastily apologized turning and walking away, Scott sighed, stopping him and telling him to come back.

Getting up he walked over to his younger brother and squeezed his shoulder," She isn't worth it, if she can't see what a catch you are well she doesn't deserve you."  Bending down he now hugged him.

He could feel Gordon tense before letting himself relax in his arms, "This is nice." 

Scott rolled his eyes," Please it's not like I haven't hugged you in years."

"Three years to be exact." Gordon said before pulling away," I'll see you tomorrow. "

Scott now alone with his thoughts pondered, had it really been three years, since he had hugged him, much less spoken to him on a personal level outside of work.

Scott was now more than ever determined to change this. 


	2. Where it all started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a stressing rescue Gordon finally opening up about his problems. The two continue to bond something changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:  
> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners.  
> The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  
> The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  
> No copyright infringement is intended.

The sound of the IR alarm was not how Gordon envisioned himself waking up to, but as his father used to say duty calls, Groggily he got himself suited up and headed to Thunderbird 2 which these days was piloted by Scott, ever since the rotation He and Scott got paired together, Virgil was now Piloting Thunderbird 3 and John was in Thunderbird 1 leaving Alan manning the space station.

 "Good morning Scotty , Where are we headed for?" Clocking down into the co-pilots seat.

"Massive earthquake in Guatemala, triggered a tidal wave persons stranded." Scott said not looking up from the controls," ETA 10 minutes."

"FAB." John responded from Thunderbird 1.

"Alan whats the situation on the ground?"

"Currently five persons stuck on top of a roof with waters rising rapidly." 

"FAB." 

Arriving the scene was pour chaos, rescuers had managed to get the others to safety unfortunately they didn't have the equipment to make it a clean slate.

"Thunderbird 1 I need you to follow as backup and lift them to safety ." Unhooking himself from his seat, Scott looked at Gordon," Man the controls while I'm gone." Hooking himself up he could hear his brother grumble about being stuck inside from all the action.

Everything went according to plan till, the final civilian slipped from his hands and fell into the water. Gordon knowing his brother too well knew what would happen next , Scott released himself from the line and jumped in after her.

"Shit Thunderbird 5 whats the location of Scott."

"He is hanging onto a tree a quater mile down, Thunderbird 1 managed to rescue the civilian before Scott told John to leave." Alan sounded stressed.

"Fuck......." Manually turning over to auto pilot," Thunderbird 5 I'm going to retrieve our fearless leader." hooking himself to the line he jumped in after his idiot brother. 

Luckily for them both Gordon had swam in far worse so rescuing Scott was almost easy. 

"Thunderbird 2 coming in I have our fearless leader in possession."

"Thunderbird 1 has already handed over the civilians, The authorities seem to have everything under control."

"FAB Alan." Both Pilots responded.

"You are an idiot." Gordon said facing his brother," What if the current had been stronger?" 

"Gordon...." Scott tried to cut him off.

"Don't Gordon me you asshole, you have no regard for your own life or safety, John was already ahead of you he would have gotten to her in time."

"But I was already outside." Scott again tried to defend himself.

"I don't care, just like her you also have a family who cares for you, even if you don't."  Raising his hand, "Thunderbird 2 auto pilot home."

Grabbing a hold of Scott he hauled him to the on ship locker room, "Strip you need a shower before you freeze to death."

"And you don't?" Scott quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm used to it." Gordon shrugged turning to leave.

"Like hell you are, take of your clothes we can shower together." Grabbing a hold of him Scott decided now would be an opportune time get his brother talking.

"Nooo!!! I mean I'll go after you it's really ok I can bear it." Gordon said hurriedly. 

"Gordon it's not like I haven't seen everything you have before, you do walk around naked so." Scott stripped down to nothing, "Fine suit yourself I'll be out in five."

True to his word Scott came back in 5 minutes leaving Gordon alone to take a shower.

Letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, he took off his clothes and went into the shower. The warm water did little to soothe his mind, running his hands over his raised skin he felt a ping of sadness, he didn't mean to be so harsh to Scott but damn it he was worth something. More than he would ever be.

Finally exiting the shower, he stared in the mirror, he looked horrible and even he knew it. Nothing though could prepare him for the gasp coming from beside him, he scrambled to grab his towel but Scott must have moved it leaving him with nothing to shield his exposed flesh.

Planted to the wall he had backed into his brothers eyes were wide in shock, whose wouldn't he was disgusting. After what seemed like an eternity Scott's eyes filled with something between disappointment and anger. "Get dressed we'll be home in five." 

Gordon simply looked down and nodded.

Upon landing Gordon disappeared only showing himself at dinner to appease questions. He couldn't even look Scott in the face without feeling shame.

"Gordon a word please." It wasn't up for discussion, dread spread through him as he followed Scott towards his own room once inside he looked the door and instructed Alan to turn off all technology within the space. Walking towards his bathroom he took out one scotch glass and a half finished bottle of Bourbon.

Realizing Gordon hadn't moved from the door, "Sit." He pointed to the direction of the bed, Gordon did as he was told, "Drink." Holding out a double shot towards him. The alcohol burnt his throat on the way down, this action was repeated twice over, when he had finally drank his fill silence remained.

Every moment of silence spread dread throughout his body, "Scott if you brought me here to seduce me it's going to take more Alcohol than that." Gordon tried pathetically to joke, his attempt at humor earned him a look which would put the undead back into the ground. 

"I've known about you self harming for two weeks, I just didn't know the extent until today." Turning to face his sibling," I saw them when you were sleeping, only to be compounded with what Alan told me after your argument."

"I should have known...". Scott interrupted him.

"I had to force it out of him, even so his loyalty towards you is impressive, but even he has his limits." Turning to face Gordon, "How could you.......How could you do this to yourself ?".

That was all Gordon needed for the dam to erupt, his body heaving sobs, " I didn't......I'm so sorry........I'm not worth it.........no one wants me." 

Scott was horrified to hear this," Gordon what are you talking about?!!"

" No one wanted me before, much less now when I look like a monster." Between sobs," I'm not worth anything, I'm the funny brother, the one no one takes seriously........ I'm hanging on by a thread." Finally composing himself enough to look into his brothers eyes," I didn't call for help when I was stuck........ I was hoping no one found me in time."  

Gordon was greeted with a slap across the face, shock ran through him, looking up his brothers face was a mix of sadness, anger and distress Sky blue eyes watering.

Strong arms circled him holding him in place, " Never you dear say that again." Scott squeezed him," You are worth more than you even know to me and the rest of the family." Huge sobs leaving his body," Gordon I love you, we all love you if anything happened to you we would never survive, not after Dad or Mom.....hearing you say you don't want to live anymore splits me in two." 

Both brothers stayed in the embrace, for hours, before Scott pulled away both of them having red swollen eyes.

"Gordon I meant every word I said, if you ever have a problem come to me I don't know what i'd do if you ever went overboard."

His younger brother shook his head.

" Please hear me out, I know you don't want to but you need professional help." Scott looked pleadingly into his eyes," Alan and I are worried sick about you."

"Scott..."

"Please Gordon I'm begging you, this isn't healthy." After a half hour Gordon reluctantly agreed to conference with a therapist.

"  I also want you to move in with me." Gordon's head shot up," It scared the living shit out of me knowing I was so close to losing you and I would sleep better if I knew where you were." 

Gordon would have gotten angry said he wasn't a child in need of constant watch but the exhaustion on his brothers face changed his mind.

"It would be temporary, say we're bonding if they ask why." 

Gordon knew it was a lost cause to argue," OK, Scott I just..........I'm sorry for putting you through this, both you and Alan deserve better than having to watch me in addition to your jobs."

 Scott sighed exasperatedly," You are my brother it's my duty to look after you not a job but duty, even though you can be a pain in the ass from time to time, don't even get me started on your jokes." Gordon for the fist time that day managed to laugh," I wouldn't trade you for anything." Before a yawn escaped him.

"you're tired, I'm tired lets just get some rest." Gordon didn't even realize how tired he was till Scott said those words, his entire body ached as well as his head.

Scott had gone to his closet and retrieved two sets of sleeping clothes," Save yourself the trip." Turning to give his brother some privacy, both quickly undressed and redressed before climbing into the king sized bed, sleep came almost instantly.

The next morning his alarm didn't go off, instead he was awakened by the cooing noises Alan's hologram was making.

"Ughhh." Scott groaned only to have Gordon cuddle more into him," Go away, want to sleep."

"Awww don't you too look so cute cuddled up together." The youngest smile was like sunshine ,"Thank you for talking to him."

Scott looked down at Gordon at the mention of this," Alan I had little choice, besides he finally has agreed to get help."

"Already ahead of you, I've set up a therapy session for 2 pm today." 

"Thanks sprout,  I'll talk to you soon." 

"FAB." A cheery tone before the line was cut. 

Turning back to his still sleeping brother Scott ran a hand through his hair, he looked so peaceful, so young. Maybe too young.

Scott sighed before gently shaking Gordon," Gords it's time to get up."

"No five more minutes please." Gordon begged dramatically.

"Ok but only this once." Leaving his bed Scott went about to start his day.

  And so it continued for more mornings than Scott could count, leaving him in his bed. The others surprisingly thought nothing of Gordon moving in with him, "whatever makes you sleep better at night." Virgil said.

Gordon though was another thing altogether, he was still a slob and now in order to keep his room pristine Scott had to constantly be behind him, picking up after him. It was exhausting but he was happy to have his baby brother happy and smiling again, with regular therapy sessions Gordon learnt the correct way of dealing with his issues. 

The two became so close in fact they practically did everything together even lady Penelope finally began to show signs of jealously at Gordon's now lack of attention.

 John however greeted this sudden change with suspicion, pulling Scott aside to the pool area.

"What is going on with you and Gordon?" John ever the no beating around the bush guy asked.

"Nothing?" Scratching the back of his head, did John know too? 

John looked at Scott baffled by how oblivious he was," Scott you do know he pretty much worships the ground you walk on?"

The dark haired brother looked amused," Johnny It's called brotherly bonding that's all, he does no such thing."

The red head really couldn't believe his older brother right now," Scott have you not been paying attention at all?, The sneaked looks, he touches you every opportunity he gets and above all he's all but invaded your space and you don't seem to mind."

Now Scott really was confused," What are you getting at?"

John took exhaled a long suffering sigh," He likes you Scott."

"Well obviously, I'm his bro after all."

"NO SCOTT HE "LIKES YOU, LIKES YOU" John blatantly struggling to keep his voice down.

Scott's face dropped," What, John don't be ridiculous he doesn't like me like that."

John raised an eyebrow, before he could speak he was interrupted by Virgil.

"Scotty boy, you and me later i'm gonna kick your ass in that new game." Scott only nodded not trusting his voice," That's if you can leave your new best friend for five minutes, I swear if I didn't know any better I'd think he has a crush on you." Patting his brother on the shoulder, he walks away.

"You were saying?" John replied.

Scott hastily laughed," You both are imagining things." a feeling of dread spread through him, Did Gordon like him like that ?.

He pondered this question for the remainder of the day and well into the night. Not wanting to mention it least it upset his younger brother Scott pretended to be asleep.

Finally hearing the bathroom door open and the bed dip, this was expected. What wasn't expected was the caress of his face in an awfully dare he say sensual way.

He was alarmed but needed to keep his body still least he frighten him.

"You are so beautiful." Gordon mummer placing chaste kisses in his hair, the continued contact made Scott realize Gordon wasn't doing this to jest him but quite the opposite, his brothers now hard member could be felt rubbing against his hand, "Who needs her anyways you're so much prettier and interesting." Leaning forward he gently pressed his lips against his older brothers,"If only things were different you'd be mine." Sighing and settling down cuddling into his side.

Scott's mind was going a million miles an hour, this hadn't been the first time Gordon had done this only now he was awake.

Waiting until he was sure Gordon was out cold he carefully removed himself putting a pillow in his place. Walking briskly he entered John's room to find his brother still awake.

"How can I help you?" Looking up from his book to see his normally composed brother frazzled.

"John," He could barely get it out " we have a situation."

 Setting the book down, John ushered Scott to sit on the bed.

"Scott what's going on?" The red head was getting worried.

"He doesn't like me." The look of fear clouding his eyes," He's in love with me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. I'd love you if you let me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated between Gordon and Scott. Scott gets some perspective but also gives some.

"Scott your overreacting." John rolled his eyes, leave it his older brother to be dramatic.

"He kissed me John."  

"What?"

"He thought I was sleeping, he said if things were different id be his." 

"Scott you need to stop this now, you'r encouraging him."

" He self harms John he has been for close to 4 years' Alan's known  for close to 2 years, I found out 2 months ago." Looking up at John whose eyes had tripled in size," I want to be there for him, sleeping beside me provides him comfort especially now with these feelings he has if I rejected him or Pulled away it would destroy him, Alan and I worked so hard to get him back together."

"He hurts himself?" John needed to sit down, not believing what he was hearing about his baby brother,"He seemed so happy and cheerful when he was in so much pain." Tears forming at the corners of his eyes," How didn't we know?, Scott why didn't you tell me?".

"He didn't want anyone else to know, We've gotten him a therapist and he is slowly getting better but I still like having him where I can see him."

Realization struck," The rotations, that's why you changed them." 

The elder one simply nodded," I needed to watch him, Alan told me he was washing his sheets and towels for someone who never did that before it was alarming."

"Scott I know you and I know what your willing to sacrifice but this is ridiculous."

"it's just till he gets over it, I'll be the worst boyfriend ever."

John looked at him incredulously,"Are you kidding me, Scott you're a gentleman who would bend over backwards to meet his hearts content  just to keep him happy." Seriously studying his brother," You haven't thought this through have you? Tell me how far are you willing to go?"

Scott understood what John was asking," I'm willing to do whatever is necessary."

John paled a little at this," You can't Scott it's wrong."

"I don't have another option John, I can learn to like it."

"Do you fucking hear yourself!!" John finding himself desperately trying to talk any form of sense into his older brother," You'd willingly Commit INCEST!! out of pity?"

"I love him John." Determination blazed in his eyes

"As do I yet I'm not the one prepared to love him like that."

Sighing heavily Scott realized he had been gone for almost an hour," I have to get back, just forget I said anything okay." Before John could respond he had already left.

"Where'd you go?" Scott had long thought Gordon had gone to bed so he was surprised to find him awake.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" The brunette climbed into bed resetting the pillow.

"I was but you left, the pillow is no substitute." practically draping himself over Scott,"You smell good."

Chuckling,"Go to bed Gordon." after a few minutes of silence Gordon interrupted.

"Scott."

"Hmm?" Looking down at his brother.

"Amm goodnight." A look of longing in his eyes.

Scott was by this time having a mental tug of war with himself, if he reciprocated he would give him false hope but if he denied him all these weeks of progress could be undone. Saying a silent Prayer he made his decision.

Placing his thumb  gently under the blonds chin he urged his head up, leaning in he gently paired both sets of lips together for a quick chaste kiss

Pulling back," Good night little bro."  As Gordon Slept Scott's mind overworked, till he finally made his decision.

Luckily the next day he didn't have time to overthink, back to back rescues on opposing sides of the globe kept him busy. To say he was overjoyed upon seeing his beloved Island would have been an understatement.

After finishing his after flight checks he headed straight for the shower, taking longer than normal( who really needs to know) he dressed and walked around. The place was quite too quite, with Grandma still on the mainland visiting everyone she knew, Alan in space and Virgil and John  on the way home that left Gordon. 

A feeling of dread spread over him, taking the stairs two by two he reached his younger brothers room,"Gordon?"

A small moan of pain could be heard from inside Gordon's bathroom," Gordon?" Scott banged on the door,"Are you alright?

"I'm fine, just dropped something on my foot." His tone however didn't sound like it.

"Gordon open the door now!!," Checking the handle it was locked.

"Go away Scott I'm fine." Snapping at his older brother.

"Like hell I am, either you open this door or I break it down." There was no answer, comming Alan he waited for an answer.

"Hey Scott what's up?" The teenager appeared with a juice box.

"Alan is Thunderbird five still linked to all the security controls for the house including the bathrooms?"

"Yeah why?" Alan looked confused.

"I need you to override and unlock Gordon bathroom door." Scott voice left no room for negotiation.

"Did he look himself in again?" Alan joked," Door unlocked."

"Thanks sprout." Turning off the com, pushing the bathroom door he saw Gordon on the floor, his face red and eyes watering, beside him was an open box of razors and well as an open bottle of pills. The kicker however was the small drops of blood on the floor and fresh wounds on his brothers forearm.

The elder of the two brothers not knowing what to do hung his head in shame.

"I didn't do it." A weak voice from the blond," Scott you have to believe me."

Looking up, he saw pain in his brothers eyes,"Please I didn't do it, my back was in serve pain and I went to get my pain pills I took out everything and rested them on floor, water was on the ground I didn't see it I slipped and tried to brace myself on the sink knocking over the pills and falling on top of the razors."

He wanted to believe him but how could he, the evidence said otherwise," I thought you'd come to me, but I guess I judged you wrong." Anger in his eyes."You're so selfish and you don't even realize it." Connecting to his com he called John,"Where are you?"

"I'm thirty minutes out." The red head replied.

"When you get here tend to Gordon, he's in the bathroom." Hanging up before John could ask for more information taking one last look at his brother.

"Please." The blond begged, only getting coldness in those blue eyes.

" Do what you want I don't care anymore." he shook his head and left. 

***JOHNS POV***

 Checking the altitude and engine stats I let out sigh, it's not that I didn't like Piloting the Thunderbirds I just miss being in space, but knowing my beloved TB5 is with Alan doesn't exactly put my mind at ease.

Preparing myself for the rest of the flight I start to relax a little only for the silence to be broken by an incoming call from Scott, telling me I need to tend to Gordon. I knew something had happened, "Going to maximum thrust I cut my ETA to 10 minutes.

Carefully landing the craft I ran towards his room, finding him alone and  on moving on the ground.

I was going to murder Scott.

  ***POV END***

 Having his door thrown open, three hours later was expected, if he were being honest with himself he'd have expected it sooner. 

"You!!" The red head grabbing him and pushing him against the wall," This is how we treat our family now?" His green eyes raging," You don't have the right to call yourself his brother." Letting go of him.

"What does he want John an apology?" sitting down behind his antique desk," He lied to me."

John looked at him disbelieving," Lied to you?" Trying to calm himself lest he truly murder his brother,"Do you hear yourself."

"He doesn't care John." Squaring his jaw,"All the work I put in, Alan put it he was so quick to throw it all under the bridge."

John laughed humorlessly," Of course Scott, because it's always about you." Walking over to his brother he grabbed his data pad,"You're an idiot." Pulling up the security footage from the day," Tell me just how much work did you put in?"

The dark haired mans face paled. Switching off the data pad John looked down,"He was on the ground for an hour and a half Scott, because he couldn't move the pain was that intense. I spent two hours with him in the bath under hot water to try and ease it, how he wasn't screaming was a miracle." Hurt filling his eyes," You just left him there, told him to do what he wanted with an open pack of razors beside him." John wasn't one for crying but this was too much," It takes 10 minutes for someone to bleed out if they hit an artery and you just left him alone within the realm of temptation."  Shaking his head John turned and left the room leaving the now dejected Scott to his thoughts.

What had he done?

Finding himself downstairs was an easy choice for Scott, his Scotch was down there, Pouring himself a glass he sat down in the kitchen. After sometime he decided it was a bad idea to drink on an empty stomach, he opened the fridge, absentmindedly taking out a small pie and eating it. It was cherry his favorite.

"I see you found the pie." Virgil yawned entering the kitchen," What are you doing up?

Holding up the scotch glass his brother nodded," This is so good." Savoring the last bite," I haven't had a pie this good in ages, where did it come from?"

Virgil took a seat next to his brother,"I'm sure Gordon will be thrilled to hear you loved it." Dropping the fork he was holding he turned to his brother in confusion," He made it for you." Yawning again Virgil bid his brother goodnight before heading back to bed.

Looking at the now empty pie dish, Scott felt his stomach fall. Yes Gordon could be rather annoying, mischievous, horrible fashion sense, short, loud and not anything along the lines of what Scott would go for if he swung that way. However Gordon was kind, enthusiastic, sensitive, caring and a really good cook ( If only the others knew this) and if he was truthful anyone would be lucky to have him.

Running a hand over his face he had majorly fucked up.

Still confined to bed he didn't even bother looking up when his door opened.

" I came to see if you were okay."

"You got your answer, you can leave."

"Gordon please."

 Looking out the window," I guess this is what I get for even fathoming that maybe just maybe, you'd..you know what forget it."

 Scott looked down at his feet,"I should have listened."

" Leave." His answer plain as day.

"Gordon please."

"I said get out." Moving too quickly a twig of pain shot through his back,"Ahhh."

Instantly moving towards him Scott tried to put him back down,"Get off me, don't fucking touch me."

Finally knowing this was not the time to make a change he looked back at his brother still in pain on the bed, " I will find a way to make this right."

 Luckily for Scott the Thunderbirds were given a mandatory week off at the end of the month and Alan had returned home happy to see his family again.

It was decided that a family Vacation was in order and Lady Penelope was all too happy to invite them to her home, which for Grandma and Kayo meant one thing, Lots of shopping and for Virgil time spent with Parker learning new things from his dubious past.

"Scott, did something happen between you and Gordon?" Alan asked as they walked around the grounds," I mean you haven't been as close as before I left."

Ruffling his brothers hair," It's nothing to worry about kiddo." Telling Alan about a new space exhibit they had, "Maybe you and John can go, Alan whats wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing." Sitting on the bench.

"Alan you know you can tell me anything." Scott reassured, looking at his older brother.

"Does John hate me?" Scott's eyes gaped," It's just that he doesn't like being around me and when he's forced to he's always mean to me."

Sighing and looking towards the sky," Alan he doesn't hate you, John is just a loner that's all."

Alan snorted," I get it i'm the annoying brother he doesn't want around, Scott I'll just learn to accept it." 

Mentally noting he needed to talk to his brother later.

"Sprout can you do me a favor." Alan nodded listening to Scott's plan.

 The next morning over breakfast, Alan all but dragged Gordon to the side.

"This is low, he sent you to beg for him." Gordon was not amused.

"Shut up and go outside." All but pushing his older brother outdoors, looking up  the image of a large whale appeared in the sky, beside it in cursive writing "I'm sorry. S"

"No he didn't send me to beg for him." Alan nudged his shoulder,"He's really sorry Gordon." Giving him the hand written note Scott had left.

 It really was a sweet gesture and Gordon still adored his older brother even though he was an asshole, smiling slightly well at least he'd get food not at his expense.

John whoever was clearly not as forgiving,"I'm coming with you."

"You will do no such thing." Scott said seriously," Tell me when was the last time you spent any decent amount of time with sprout?"

John snorted," He's annoying, loud, hyper and..."

"He thinks you hate him."

"What?" Catching the red head off guard.

"John have you ever realized how you utterly dismiss him every time he tries to talk to you or when you do talk to him it's in the most condescending voice you can muster."  Scott raised an eyebrow," You all but push him away every time he tries to hug you, what is he supposed to think." Walking to where his jacket is Scott took out two tickets and an itinerary,"If Gordon worships the ground I walk on then Alan worships the air you float in." Handing both over," He's still sulking in his room." 

John nodded, knowing he had a lot of apologizing to do.

 Gordon arrived at the Aquarium ten minutes later than he was supposed to but he couldn't find anything to wear. Instead of his usual loud printed shirts he choose a subdued dark grey one and actual dress pants. Scott was already there waiting anxiety written on his face.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show." A look of relief showing.

"Alan begged for you." Keeping his cool," I wouldn't be here if he didn't." 

Scott knew he wasn't out of the dog house yet," Gordon I know I'm not your favorite person right now." The blond raised an eyebrow,"but I'm asking you to trust me please." Taking the blindfold he had brought, he placed it on his now pouting brothers face before leading him through the structure.

Finally stopping Scott turned his brother around and took off the blindfold, a gasp of air left his mouth.

It was the newly renovated squid exhibit at the aquarium, however the picnic setting in front of it wasn't bad either.

When both men had eaten, this included Scott feeding Gordon dessert causing him to blush, it was Gordon who broke the ice.

"Scott you didn't have to do this."  still in awe of the giant squids before him.

"Yes I did, it's the least I could do after what happened." Scott took his hand," I'm sorry Gordon I am so, so, so sorry."

Gordon gasped,"The great Scott Tracy did you just apologize."

Scott chuckled," Even I know when to say sorry." Squeezing it," I shouldn't have behaved like that, I shouldn't have doubted you."

"It's okay Scott I understand given my track record who could blame you, I'd have thought the same thing." Reaching out he cupped his brothers face,"I forgive you."

Scott smiled softly," I have something for you." Reaching behind him, he pulled out a large gift bag and passed it to Gordon.

Large brown eyes looked at him excitedly as he pulled out a giant stuffed Squid with a sign draped around it," Will you be mine?" Looking up at Scott," Scott?" He said nervously.

"I know you're in love with me." Looking deeply in his now worried brothers eyes," I love you Gordon, I know it won't be easy but I want to try." 

The Aquanaut was stunned," Scott you don't have to do this." 

"I'll love you if you let me, Please say yes." Anxious blue eyes peered into his soul," We can worry about everything else later, just right now it's you and me."

Not trusting his voice The younger man nodded.

"Yes?" The smile on his face could rival the sun," Thank you." Pulling out another thing he had hidden Scott opened it revealing it to be a white gold ring.

Gordon laughed nervously," Amm Scott don't you think this is a little too soon I know with the new laws it's now legal but this kinda is our first date." 

His brows furrowing in confusion before laughter rang through the air,"Oh no God no." Quickly gathering himself together," Maybe in 2 years" Placing it on he fourth finger of his left hand,"This is just a promise ring, to symbolize my commitment to you and what we are working to build." Still seeing doubt in his eyes Scott lifted his head," Hey look at me, there's no pressure for anything other than company, even if it does take two years we can wait," "The longer the better." Scott thought getting up before helping Gordon stand.

"We should probably leave now." Gordon looked at his watch, while awkwardly scratching the back of his head," I ughh had a great time, Thank you again."

Scott stepped closer," It was my pleasure." Grabbing a hold of his brother by the waist, Scott pulled him into the most passionate kiss he had ever given anyone, hell even he didn't know he had in in him to kiss like that, the most amusing thing however was feelings Gordon's body go boneless in his arms.

"Oh come on Gordon don't make it easy for me." Scott teased after they had finished which involved Gordon having to lie down for 5 minutes to regain any semblance of proper muscle function." I didn't steal your soul through that kiss."

Only Gordon, couldn't stop smiling this smile was still on his face even after they arrived back at Lady Penelope's home, only for it to slightly falter when his invitation back to his room was denied," We need to set some boundaries and I think this is one of them, I just want us to be comfortable with each other in our new relationship." Kissing the top of his head he reassured him he'd have him back in his bed in no time.

 Walking past Alan's room he saw the door open, smiling as he saw Alan peacefully draped over John of them fast asleep.

All in all it was a good day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Maybe it can work?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get tricky

Scott was frustrated, no he was down right angry after all they'd done they now had to go meet with the GDF to discuss damages incurred during a mission to not only save a collapsing skyline but also the GDF head office in Tokyo.

Having all but destroyed the study Scott still found he couldn't calm down, Alan and Virgil all but fled, knowing Scott was on the war path the best thing to do was run, Gordon however was not interested in fleeing nor was he surprised to see the state of the room.

"Gee Scotty I didn't know you became a cyclone overnight."

Looking up at Gordon his normal sky blue orbs darkened considerably," Gordon I'm not in the mood."

Gordon however was not perturbed," There was nothing we could do Scott if we hadn't have backed into the building people would have died."

"Yet they fucking blame us for the damage, we got 350 persons out and we're the bad guys." Throwing his glass at the wall,"Would they have preferred they died."

"Whoa Scott you need to calm down." Still shocked by how angry his brother was," Have a seat dude." Physically forcing the brunette into a seat.

"It's not fair Gordon, it's not fucking fair." his head heavy against the back of the chair.

"When's the meeting going to be held?" Standing behind the chair resting his hand on Scott's shoulder.

"Next week Tuesday in Tokyo."

"I'm going with you Scott, we all are." 

"It's not like we have a choice we're grounded till they decide what to do with us." Groaning," Fuck this Gordon."

Not knowing how to comfort his brother, the following 30 minutes were tense, what was even more tense was Scott in fact he looked like he was really suffering.

"Scott?" Careful of the reaction he might get,"Are you ok?"

In his most deadpan voice," No Gordon I am not okay in fact far from it, I have a massive headache, I forgot to eat so I'm starving and above all my dick decided to ugh never mind."

Focusing his eyes on the dark pants Scott had on,"Oh." Chuckling nervously." Down boy down." He got got one of Scott's patented "Not helping" Glares as payment for his efforts."Get up."

Scott Groaned," I don't want to move."

"Well either you follow me to the kitchen or starve." Getting up he held out his hand,"The choice is your's" Earning another disgruntled groans Scott begrudgingly accepted. Walking down to the kitchen the smell off food hit wafted about," Sit." For the first time in years Scott did as he was told as Gordon grabbed a plate and Shared a portion of pasta placing it in front of Scott with a large glass of water,"Eat." When he was finally finished Gordon hauled him upstairs into the bathroom, Dimming the light and  turning on the tap he allowed the bathtub to fill.

"Gordon I don't need a soak in the tub I need a shower and I have work to do."Leaning against the counter, his eyes were rimmed red.

Gordon however would have none of it,"No you are not doing anything." Beginning to add various potions to the bath,"You are overworked, dog tired and need to sleep."

"I'm fine." Shooting back annoyed.

"No you are not fine, you haven't been fine all day." turning off the tap when the bath was near full,"Look Virgil and Brains are doing the paper work for you tonight, you look like shit we both know you would only stress yourself out even more viewing those files." Walking over to where Scott was standing,"Now are you going to strip or do I have to do it for you." The blond almost grinned gleefully as his brother started to slowly undress, turning around as he reached crucial parts to remove.

"Ohhh so gentlemanly preserving my virtue." Scott teased. Gordon simply rolled his eyes finally turning to face the tub when he was sure his brother had entered,"If you're planning on staying I can assure you I won't drown."

Snorting,"Please I wouldn't even trust you to drink water by yourself right now." Opening the cupboard and pulling out a sponge, he grabbed a lavender body wash and poured some on it much to Scott's horror.

"No absolutely not." Trying to escape the water," You are not going to bathe me." 

Gordon simply smirked,"If you're done with being upset because of your fragile macho ego, I need you to soak for 20 minutes, the Epsom salt will work to relax your muscles and restore the salt balance to your body aka no hangover in the morning."

"Gordon I don't have 20 minutes." Wining as Gordon dipped the sponge into the water.

"Yes Scott you do, I made twenty minutes for you." Moving the moist sponge over his brothers leg ,"As I said before I don't trust you not to drown."

Begrudgingly Scott had to agree, he really was in now position to be left alone," Fine but It still feels odd you fully clothed and I'm totally naked at your mercy." Closing his eyes as the warmth indeed was making him relax,"Get in."

Slight chuckling was heard from beside him," why should I do that?" Soaping up his arm,"Is Mr.Tracy still aroused."

The brunette snorted"Even if I wanted to I don't have the energy to engage in any act." Turning his head,"I just could use some company that's all."

An amused look on Gordon's face "I do suppose I could indulge you." Scott being the gentleman he was closed his eyes as Gordon undressed only opening them once he felt him slip in behind him,"You do know, this is going to cost you extra." Taking up the sponge he gently worked on Scott's chest.

Sighing contentedly,"Extra kisses and hugs will do?"

"Hmmm, maybe." Dropping the sponge in the water, his hands now massaging tense shoulders," I'd much prefer another date night outside the Island, but I guess that will suffice." After sometime Gordon could feel Scott thoroughly relaxing almost falling asleep. Being the cunning person that he was the perfect opportunity had presented itself. Slowly lowering his right hand he caressed Scott's body dropping it lower and lower till it was underwater carefully caressing his now half asleep brothers thigh before moving it to what he was searching for.

"I don't think we agreed on this as being part of my sponge bath bro." Scott said amused,"Leave it up to you to take advantage of me when I'm helpless."

"I could always stop if you wanted." Giving him a squeeze,"Though I think your friend would disagree." 

"What am I going to do with you?" Still half asleep but bemused.

Gordon laughed," I could think of a few things." Slowly moving his hand up and down, the moans leaving Scott's mouth were having their own effect on him, his needs could wait Scott needed this more than he did. Trailing kisses behind his ear and his neck Gordon could feel him about to lose control. Finally after 8 minutes his release came.

 "Thank you." Taking Gordon's hand and kissing the back of it," I didn't know how much I needed that till now." 

Wrapping his arms around the happily exhausted man,"It was my pleasure you deserve it , you take care of everyone else and even you need to be taken care Scott." Kissing the side of his head. "Feeling better?"

"Much better." Looking back at the blond,"We should probably get out now, I am in desperate need of a bed and pillow." 

"You go ahead, I'll stay and clean up." Nodding Scott exited and dried himself off. Sighing deeply Gordon emerged from the water his erection finally going away, quickly cleaning up the mess he then dried himself off before exiting the bathroom. Walking silently over to his sleeping brothers bed he bent down to give him a kiss goodnight before quickly leaving the room. Knowing full well this maybe the last few nights of decent sleep Scott got in a while.

He turned out to be unfortunately right, the meeting with the GDF went worse than any of them expected Scott could barely contain his rage when he heard the inquiry wasn't just about Tokyo but also several other instances over the years. Nothing though could compare to them being grounded for an entire year till the investigation was complete.

"They can't do this." Virgil normally calm headed was pissed.

"They can and they did." John was equally as pissed he just held it in better."We do operate under their authority so technically it's in their discretion."

"But they have proved to be absolutely incapable of dealing with criminals, much less rescuing civilians." Everyone turning to Alan. "I maybe the youngest doesn't mean I'm in the dark no matter how hard you try to keep things from me." 

"A year is an eternity." Gordon supplied not once taking his eyes off Scott who was still quite hours after leaving the meeting,"What are we supposed to do till then?"

"We take a break." Scott finally said.

"A break?" Kayo asked not believing what she was hearing.

"Yes a break a well deserved one at that." Taking a sip of his beer." They made their beds, they lay in them."

"But this isn't some vendetta Scott innocent people will die." Virgil tried to reason with him.

"But yet we have run ourselves into the ground trying to help them and help we can no more." Looking up at everyone who still had shock on their faces," It makes no sense we fight them."

"Obviously you've had way too much to drink you're not thinking clearly." Virgil said taking Scott's beer away from him.

"He's only dark half his beer since we've been here for the past 2 hours." Brains added,"Even if we decided to do as Scott suggests, what are we to do in the mean time?"

"We could always travel." Alan suggested."I mean we've gone to so many locations but never had the time to actually explore." Really thinking about it,"Guys when was the last time we actually visited our family and friends?"

They all stayed quite it had been a while since they all had spent quality time with any of them. "Well it's settled, a break it is." Smiling triumphantly.

"Touche." Gordon added putting his hand on Kayo's knee." Let's make the most of it."

Staying in the restaurant another two hour's before they decided it was time to leave the group split up with John, Virgil and Brains headed to another place and Kayo, Gordon, Scott and Alan to the hotel. Alan and Kayo exited the elevator Scott turned to Gordon a hint of a smirk on his face,"Soooo."

"So?" His smirk returned.

"Come to my room ?" Taking Gordon's hand he gently caressed it.

Gordon grinned," Give me twenty minutes."

Finally coming to his stop Gordon exited. If he were being honest he did actually miss having a warm presence in his bed, it was nice having someone to wake up next to in the mornings. Pulling the key for his room he immediately rushed towards the shower, a three minute one did the job just fine.  After he'd gotten dressed he had ten minutes before Gordon would show up.

Sighing deeply he attempted again to watch sexual acts to try and get aroused but the images on the TV did little to quell his anxiety, in fact it did quite the opposite. He had tried to get off while envisioning Gordon and each time failed miserably, much less actually having to engage in congress. 

His Gordon patient and sweet needed affection. While Scott lavished him without being told the sexual part of the relationship had stalled neither pushing the other for it but it wasn't fair to either of them deep down Scott wondered if Gordon was truly happy as they hadn't yet made love.

The knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts, putting on his best sultry expression he quickly moved to open it pulling Gordon into a crushing kiss."I've missed you."

Trying to steady himself Gordon held onto him tight,"If this is what you missing me means please feel free to miss me more often."

Chuckling lightly,"I'll keep that in mind." Pulling him over to the bed they both entered."I'm sorry if I've been neglecting you lately." Cuddling next to the blond.

"I understand." Turning to kiss him again,"Just laying beside you makes it better."

Scott felt his heart swell, deeply kissing the blond again only this kiss wasn't like the others this one was different. Somehow between pawing at each other's shirts and Gordon's leg thrown over his, his hand roaming the shorts man's lower extremities till he found what he was looking for giving Gordon's ass a squeeze he got a squeak in reply.

"Did you just yelp?" Scott could barely contain his laughter as Gordon's cheeks blushed bright red."Oh I can't wait to hear what other noises you'll make later on." Gordon's blush intensified. Deciding Gordon had enough teasing for one night Scott changed the subject much to Gordon's relief. Though he didn't know when they fell asleep he did know waking up next to a soft warm body did wonders for his spirit.

The next few weeks were hectic getting things in order for their break and dividing up how the time would be spent Brains and Kayo decided to visit relatives and long forgotten friends while The brothers and Grandma stuck together paying a trip to France with Scott surprising Gordon for a trip to the country much to his appreciation.

"Sure you don't feel like tagging along?" Fixing the collar of his shirt," I mean you've met them before so they technically aren't strangers." They had now moved to Australia, Both men were getting dressed Scott for a night out with some old friends and Gordon to spend some quality time with Alan at the bowling alley. 

Gordon snorts," Nope." Looking for his wallet,"I already have my hands full with one grumpy pilot, don't need to be around others."

Scott Gasped offended," Hey! I am not grumpy." Causing Gordon to smirk.

" Did I touch a nerve?" Teasing Finally finding what he was looking for,"Success." Looking up Scott had now finally finished dressing." No you need to change, you absolutely cannot go out looking so sexy."

The brunette raised a thick brow,"Afraid I might get stolen?" Adding a splash of cologne.

Biting his lip slowly walking over to his elder brother,"I'm sure someone will try." Running a hand down the black shirt," I mean you're the definition of tall, dark and handsome."

Smirking," Well that's too bad for them." Blue eyes softening," My heart only beats for you."

 Looking down he blushed,"I'm sure you say that to all the girls." 

"Except you're not a girl." Caressing the side of his face,"I love you."

"I love you too."

Shaking his head," No I love you." Running his fingers through the blond hair,"You don't need to be insecure."

The blush now even more evident on his tan skin,"I know but...I mean how did I end up with you." Still not facing the taller man,"You're perfection like a Greek God so I have right to feel insecure."

His hand scurrying down Gordon's back resting on his tailbone,"And if I am Apollo then are the sun in my realm."  

Gordon smiled softly,"How did I get so lucky." Tipping up to kiss him." I better get going don't want Alan to think I've forgotten about him..again."

All in all it was a good night with Scott seeing friends he hadn't seen in close to two years, the wine flowed and the laughs caused them to be kicked out of one place before moving to another a smile plastered on his face by the time he made it back to the hotel. Entering the key card Scott, tonight was fun and maybe he'd drank one or two more glasses of wine than he usually did but hey he wasn't drunk just pleasantly happy.

He was especially happy to find Gordon had returned, the younger man was already in his bed, maybe it was the wine but to this day he would never know what possessed him to do what he did next. Walking to the side of the bed he gently sat down admiring the blonds profile in the light of the moon, he was gorgeous, how he didn't see it was beyond him.

Lifting back the covers Gordon moaned before waking fully,"when did you get back?"

"Just a while ago." Getting up he turned to the bed before beginning to strip off his shoes, socks and watch, Gordon couldn't stop staring," See something you like?" Gordon didn't answer, " No answer hmmmm, shame I guess you don't like this." slowly unbuttoning the black shirt letting it fall to the ground," Or this." Taking off his pants, he was left in nothing but his boxer briefs.

Gordon swallowed thickly, he couldn't find the words to describe how good his brother looked right now. Scott smirked before walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Oh shit babe can you do me a favor?" Coming out of the bathroom," I need you to go fill a prescription for me."

Groaning Gordon looked on the clock," It's midnight Scott, can't it wait till morning."

"Do you want me to not sleep tonight?"

"Why can't you go?" Not wanting to leave the comfortable bed and go out into the cold.

"Because I'm already naked and I asked nicely." Puppy eyes paring into him.

"Ughhh fine." Grumpily getting up dragging on a pair of jeans, shirt and shoes he left.

 Quickly gathering his hidden supplies Scott got to work after ten minutes the room was dimly lit courtesy of the candles everywhere, the rose petals on the bed though were the cherry ontop. Going to the bathroom he searched his tolitery bag for something he never thought he would need this young if at all, taking the pill as a precaution he did not need his equipment malfunctioning he calmed himself, how hard could this be all he needed to do was not think just do, tell him he was loved and lavish him with compliments and thrust away."You can do this Scott."

Hearing the door open Scott quickly exited the bathroom finding Gordon standing there stunned, seizing his chance he walked slowly towards him," I've been expecting you." Lifting him up from underneath his legs carried him to the bed gently laying on it straddling the still shocked man ," Can I tell you something?" Gordon nodded weakly, " you're overdressed, don't you think." Gordon's breath hitched," I'd be happy to help you with this problem." Gordon blinked, Scott knew he had him where he wanted him.

Quickly removing the offending items he could only drink in the site of Gordon in bed, like a sacrifice ready to be claimed. Caressing the side of the blonds face, he nibbled on his lips before finally ravaging them with heated kisses, Gordon trying desperately to keep up the tempo, both bodies rubbing against each other, the blond moaned causing Scott to smirk, moving down the side of his neck gentle kisses and the occasional bite was plastered.

Scott continued kissing down his well defined stomach while palming his thighs. He felt Gordon tense up at this but he wasn't going to stop, he opened his now lovers thighs wider pressing his face against the pale skin," Your beautiful." face to face of what lead them to this moment, kissing along the scars, nibbling the flesh at places," Never feel ashamed of this." He could see Gordon's dick twitch,"I think your friend here likes me,how about I introduce myself a bit better." Softly running his hand over it he gained a moan in response. The next part though was totally spontaneous looking up he gave a devilish smile giving the tip a lick before working himself up to do the full act he engulfed it fully.

"Ughhh." Gordon moaned, the feeling of his penis in Scott's mouth was wonderful especially when he look up at him playfulness in his eyes. Before long he was in a pleasurable bliss he had never experienced before. his hand gripping Scott's hair Scott pulled away with a pop making his way back up he kissed him again, relishing in tasting himself on his lips.

Pulling back he scrummed inside the night table looking for two things but only finding one. He silently cursed himself how could he have forgotten to buy it Turning to Gordon his face was grim." I have no condoms." This perfect night would be ruined and it was his fault," I understand if you don't want to continue any further I'll respect your decision." 

Gordon laughed at this,"Dude I trust you, and the way Brains keeps us tested for everything under the sun every week you would have known if you had anything." Stroking the side of his face lovingly." I wouldn't have wanted you to use one. I WANT YOU ALL OF YOU."

This gave Scott the confidence boast he needed. Slapping his well shaped ass," I think i'm going to enjoy this." Before opening the Lube and getting down to the business of preparing him. When he was sure he had done more than enough he looked into Gordon's eyes," If you feel pain or just need a break you can stop me at anytime."

Gordon nodded quickly his heart now racing.

 Positioning himself in between his legs lining up slowly entering Scott relished in the tightness and heat, giving Gordon time to adjust before he started moving."Gordo you feel so good." Praising how well his body was taking him.

Gordon however was too caught up in sexual bliss to reply not that Scott minded, it meant he was doing his Job properly."Mmm God Scott." gripping the sheets wrapping his legs around his back,"Harder."

Scott didn't need to be told twice he upped his tempo the increasing groans and moans were his reward. He himself was close now with more effort every thrust he hit the spot inside, causing Gordon to cry out in pleasure. "Mmmmm Ughhh oh God Scott." Ragged words coming out." I cant hold on I.....Arghhhh." Gordon came splatting Scott's stomach with his load, Scott finding his release seconds after. 

They made love three times that night, the impact it had was undeniable. Gordon blushed all throughout breakfast every time Scott looked at him leading to relentless teasing from Virgil and Alan about why he was acting so weird.

 When they were out of hearing distance John simply raised an eyebrow patting him on the shoulder."Good job I suppose." Before turning to walk away," Oh by the way, you may want to keep it down the hotel manager was reporting noise complaints from the floor below us this morning." A smirk gracing his face.

Scott went as red as a tomato. 

 

 

 


	5. The beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:  
> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners.  
> The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  
> The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  
> No copyright infringement is intended.

Shifting uncomfortably in his sleep. Something felt odd but not unpleasantly so, cracking one eye open he found the cause. Gordon managed to get into his room and was enjoying his morning glory. Scott closed his eyes and was in bliss at the feel of Gordon giving him the best Blow job he'd ever received whining when Gordon stopped He felt the blond crawling up his body and lowering himself onto his lap quirking and eyebrow as if challenging him but hey whatever made him happy. Morning sex was indeed the best.

"You are trouble you know that?" Washing Gordon's back as they showered together after the mornings activities.

"I thought you liked trouble?" The blond teased,"Besides you looked so sweet sleeping I had to come and debauch you." Wiggling against Scott to prove his point.

"Insatiable."Rolling his nipple between his fingers.

Gordon chuckled,"Always."

Today they would be flying back to the Island for two weeks, just to do some basic cleaning and ensure the property was still in one piece.

Though grateful for the break everyone was happy to be home even for a short time. The merriment continued with them having a barbecue and Scott being tossed out of the kitchen for almost burning the food, as good as a pilot he is a horrible cook he is even more so.

 The festivities continued on into the night before everyone dispersing but not before an epic round of video games, with Virgil and Scott tied Gordon took his chance to slip away unnoticed. Walking aimlessly he reflected on the last 12 months of his life, he'd never been happier, his relationship with his family was great, he'd managed to reconnect with his friends. The most rewarding thing though was to have fallen in love, He never imagined actually falling in love with a man much less Scott but when he showed him how to breath on his own again without fear and had not shown him pity but genuine kindness, compassion and providing a shoulder to cry on and a person to talk to it was unavoidable what happened next. 

Gordon had expected it to be another case of unrequited love, just this time he wouldn't even get the chance to tell his love interest how he felt, even with Changed laws Scott would be disgusted and want nothing to do with him. Luckily it had been the opposite he'd openly embraced Gordon and let him into his space and finally after eight months of dating into his bed. The sex was everything he'd ever wanted and more. Apart from Two of Scott's old friends only John knew of them as a couple no party was creeped out or disgusted by the idea of them being intimate. 

 He had been walking about twenty minutes before he came to the lagoon he thought about making his way down but stopped after seeing two figures by the edge. He didn't need to struggle to make out who they were. The body language from what he could pick up was anxious. Looking at each other before looking down at the water. Gordon smiled a little they were so precious. Finally the smaller of the figures lent forward pushing their lips together if only for a second before pulling away looking embarrassed, The other party pulled the figure into it's arms and Gordon could tell was whispering calming words. Rolling his eyes Gordon decided to give them some privacy, they deserved that much.

The family settled back into the normal routine which for Gordon meant daily laps in the pool.

Finding Scott was easy he was in his room hunched over his desk reading something on his computer. Sashaying inside he placed his arms around his brothers shoulders."What you doing?"

"Just catching up on some business figures that's all." Not lifting his eyes from the screen,"I take it you're going for a swim."

"I was wondering if you wanted to join me?" Ruffling his hair.

"I'll have to take a rain check Gordo." Turning around and placing Gordon on his lap. His big brown eyes stared at him with the look of unbridled love.

"I'm glad you were my first." Stroking the side of his face. " I know it was a bit late but I'm happy I waited."

Scott paled at these words. In all his planning and preparations he had over looked one detail. He had assumed Gordon had had sex before, only he hadn't. Kicking himself mentally it all made sense now why Gordon hadn't pushed or tried to initiate them being intimate or why on the first night he didn't know what to do. 

Not wanting to give away this new internal struggle he put on a bemused expression," I can't say I ever deflowered anyone before." Humor was the only thing saving him from breaking down in tears at the turn of events."You were great for a blushing virgin."

Punching his brother in the arm," I didn't tell you to make fun of me." Now actually blushing," I just thought you deserved to know." Kissing Scott's temple before getting up and leaving.

Almost immediately Scott found his head in the bowl of the toilet emptying the contents of his stomach. shakily holding onto the counter he looked in the mirror, when had this become his life, lying to the ones he loved, encouraging the most forbidden of things. Even enjoying them. He entered into this relationship as a means of distracting his brother he hadn't realized it had progressed to this. 

Shaking his head desperately in an attempt to clear it, he calmed himself tonight was Gordon's birthday party and off course they had to celebrate even if he wasn't in the cheeriest of moods. Putting on his best smile he laughed, played games and even fed Gordon cake when no one was looking. With the evening winding down he took a seat outside by the pool releasing a deep breath.

He wasn't dumb he knew there was no way he'd be able to perform tonight and being Gordon's birthday he wasn't about to let him down. Entering Gordon's room when he was sure no one was watching, he was greeted by the sight of Gordon impatiently laying there already naked."Took you long enough."

He'd made his bed now it was time to lay in it. "You do know I like making an entrance." Taking off his clothing he joined his brother."I recall once you saying you wanted all of me?" The blond raised an eyebrow at him. "It's your birthday fuck me instead?"

Gordon smiled brightly,"You're serious?" He had wanted to for so long just didn't know how to brooch the subject." I'll make it so good for you." 

"I already prepped I hope you don't mind." It's wasn't that he thought Gordon incompetent, but he knew if he had left him to be prepared he'd have backed out.

 Smirking."Less work for me." Before lubing himself up  and slowly entering."So tight." Praising Scott's body. Every thrust and every moan Scott felt more disgusted with himself. Knowing this was the first of many times he almost threw up but he held it together focusing on finishing. If he thought that was the worst of it Gordon getting emotional after made it even worse. 

 When Scott heard sniffling he all but wanted the ground to open up and take him "Gordon what's wrong?" He hadn't expected this after sex.

"I love you..I love you so much." Happy tears shedding,"I know I don't deserve you Scott but thank you." Running his hand over Scott's face." Thank you for giving me a chance." Kissing him softly, he fell asleep draped on top of him a short time later.

Scott didn't sleep at all that night. In fact he didn't sleep well for weeks after,exhaustion finally getting to him he found himself back to the same place he'd came the first night.

"I should have listened to you. 

"Scott." John was half asleep on the chair but instantly woke up at the sight of his bother looking so haggard. Rushing to the door he almost had to carry him inside and lay him on the bed. 

Unbeknownst to them both Gordon had come down looking for his data pad, bending the corner to the library the conversation peaked his interest. 

"John I can't do this anymore, I've tried my hardest but I don't love him like that." Gordon instantly froze.

"Scott you can't be serious?" John normally calm was beginning to get flustered," It all was going so well what brought this on."

"He told me I was his first." Scott felt sick thinking about it," I took his....his I can't even say it, his eyes were filled with so much trust because he loves me."

John looked hopeless as to what to do. "Every time I think about having sex with him I feel sick, but the thought of him cutting makes it harder for me to say no."

"I couldn't get it up." Scott was hysterical,"I tried John I really did." Running his hands over his face,"I barely avoided humiliation..... having him inside me was the most horrible thing I've felt in my life." Tears leaking from his eyes," I had to force myself to....to spare him questioning if he did anything wrong."

It had all been a lie. Every kiss, every touch, every shared moment. It wasn't done out of love, no it was done out of pity for a mental case of a brother.

"I don't think I can leave." Putting a hand on his chest," I can't....I can't breath." 

"You're having a panic attack." Pulling his brother up off the bed," Take a deep breath and slowly release." Trying his best to calm him down,"Take deep breaths and slowly release." 

Gordon had seen enough. His heart was broken. He was numb.

Alan Tracy wasn't happy to be woken up but something about Gordon screamed he needed him. As he stroked his brothers head while he cried himself to sleep the sinking feeling that this was about to get worse didn't leave.

 


	6. You did what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When everyone finds out about Scott's and Gordon's relationship, will Scott survive the wrath of his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I uped Alan's age in this He's 16 and a half

"My love," Scott asked kissing the side of Gordon's neck.

"I'm just not in the mood." Pulling away from Scott. "You should get some sleep, big day tomorrow and all."

Scott sighed for the past four months Gordon he felt had pulled away from not just him but everyone else as well. His sex life seemed to have also suffered from them having sex just once in that time. "When are you ever in the mood these days." Turning off the lights and going to bed.

Gordon stayed awake his sorrow multiplying within him. Tomorrow he would die he'd been planning it for months, he couldn't take living anymore

It was around 3 am when Scott felt a lightweight atop him, sitting up he saw Gordon looking at him before he bent his head slightly and kissed him. 

"I need to talk to you when I get back." Scott smiled gently caressing the side of his face the next morning," I love you."

"What do you mean you don't wanna come with us?" Alan could hardly believe Gordon turning down a trip to the aquarium. 

"Head still feels weird." He lied. 

"It won't be the same without you." The younger blond pouted. 

 "Go and enjoy yourself." Hugging Alan tightly almost cutting off circulation." I love you sprout." This would be the last hug he ever gave him.

"I love you too squidgy." Messing with his hair before cheerfully waving him goodbye.

Before he could reconsider he walked to the bathroom and gathered his supplies, It stung at first but slowly his arms began to go numb.

The more blood he lost the weaker he became, the pills finally began taking effect now. Smiling with the last bit of energy he could muster now he was no longer a burden to anyone.

"I thought Gordon was coming with us?" Virgil asked before boarding the elevator.

"He said he isn't feeling well," Alan said Idlely playing with his phone. Upon reaching the bottom floor he out of habit pushed his hands into his pockets finding them empty," Darn it I left my wallet upstairs." Turning towards the elevators.

Quickly sprinting back to the suite he and Gordon shared, Alan, hummed a cheerful melody unaware of the sight to come. Opening the door he was overcome with the powerful metallic smell. Alan felt his blood run cold," Gordon, Gordon!!" He screamed running inside the bedroom he stood frozen in the distance, he had never seen so much blood before.

"Gordon." Dropping to his knee's, he held his brothers head in his lap trying not to cry, but how couldn't he, his normally tan complexion looked ghostly pale, his lips blue.

He knew time was of the essence, he hit the emergency signal on his watch knowing help would be on the way.

"Gordon please you can't die." Tears coming fast and hard down his face,"Don't leave me."

"Alan whats the situation?" Virgil's voice popped up, Alan could only be heard sobbing," Alan just hold on I'm on my way."

John's face popped up from his com," Alan what's goi.....oh my God"  John didn't need to finish, he knew.

"Help me." His words distorted by crying,"He's dying." John had never seen Alan in such a state even after their mother had died and their father had disappeared. 

"Alan listen to me I know your scared but you need to stop the bleeding, Virgil, Kayo and Brains are already on the way, I've alerted emergency personnel."

Alan was still frozen in shock, It was that moment Virgil came running in, the sight in front of him would be burned into his memory for the rest of his life. His baby brother crying holding Gordon's near lifeless body in his arms. The once white carpet stained red.

Virgil's medical training kicked in quickly running to the bathroom he grabbed two towels thankfully as he had come back Kayo and brains had appeared as well as Grandma Ruth who had managed to pull Alan away from Gordon's body.

"I can't feel a pulse!" Kayo shouted setting Alan on a new level of hysterics.

Virgil immediately began CPR, all but throwing the towels to Brains and Kayo.

"Please breath for me." Virgil begged while pumping his chest," Please breath for me squidgy ." Tears began to form in his eyes. He couldn't imagine losing Gordon, especially not like this.

"John What's the ETA for the Ambulance." Wrapping towels around both wounds trying to steam the bleeding," He's lost at least 3 pints of blood." 

"Coming up the elevator as we speak," John said anxiously watching the situation unfold.

The EMT's finally arrived, quickly trying to stabilize Gordon before hurriedly leaving Grandma going in the ambulance with them.

Kayo and Brains Immediately following. Leaving Alan and Virgil alone with the aftermath. Both were silent. It took a few minutes before Virgil finally managed to compose himself enough to think properly. Numerous questions flew through his mind, how had this happened?, how could they not have Known he was suffering? and why didn't he ask for help?. 

Shaking his head, he realized he didn't have time for this he needed to get to the hospital and quick. Looking up at Alan he was a statue, no matter how he called his name or shook him Alan didn't respond.

Scouring the room for Alan's suitcase he quickly grabbed some clothes, before returning and Carrying Alan back with him.

 Seating him on the toilet Virgil began to remove the blonds now stained clothing grabbing a washcloth and wiping him down,"It's going to be ok." Alan didn't reply how could he. After redressing them both he again carried his little brother into the elevator and down to the waiting car speeding off to the hospital.

Scott was in the middle of trying to get the GDF to finally agree to their terms.

"Mr.Tracy there's a call for you and I'm afraid it's urgent."

"Hello" Scott answered annoyed.

 "Scott." Kayo's voice could be heard," You need to get to the hospital now." His body grew cold as if he knew what would follow. "It's Gordon he attempted suicide."

Scott felt his knee's give out from under him. The words Kayo continued to speak couldn't be made out. The faces before him asking questions he couldn't understand, yet they were concerned. he felt himself being carried and placed into a car and it moving forward.

Virgil tried comforting Alan but it was no use, he knew it being the one who found him and being they were so close if the worst came Alan would not recover.

The only noise to be heard was Alan's occasional whimpering. Scott arrived having to be wheeled into the waiting room Virgil helping him into a chair nearby.

It had been two hour's and still no news from the operating theatre. Virgil was going mad inside finally excusing himself to get some air.

Once outside he had to calm himself quickly, digging in his pocket he pulled out Gordon's phone normally not one to invade others privacy tonight was the exception. 

Guessing his password was easy, he looked in messages, web pages and finally he opened his gallery where he got the shock of his life. Joking about it was one thing but in front of him, numerous pictures showing his older and younger brother engaged in acts way too intimate to be anything else but a couple the cherry on top was the video of them which is he had any doubts they were erased.

 

 Anger poured out of him as he re-entered the building blindsiding Scott with a punch to the face "You son of a bitch." Virgil was raging.

"Virgil stop" Alan jumped in front of his eldest brother to try and protect him,"What are you doing?" 

Virgil pushed him out of the way," You perverted piece of shit." 

Alan was quick back on his feet jumping on Virgil's back," Stop please I already have one brother in the hospital, I don't need another in here."

"Alan stay out of this." Trying unsuccessfully to dislodge the younger one.

"Enough you three." Grandma's voice rose," This is a place of helping the sick not some circus. Virgil, what the hell are you talking about?"

Looking at his bleeding brother on the floor, Virgil was still enraged," He fucked our brother that's what." 

The silence which followed was unsettling even for the current situation.

"It's not true." Alan Frantically looked at Scott," Scott tell him it's not true."

The brunette's face was one of abject horror.

"No, No No No Scott tell him it's a lie, that it's made up." Alan pleaded.

"Does this look like a lie." Bringing the video up on a large holographic screen. before shutting it off after ten seconds. 

Alan, Kayo, Brains looked wide-eyed after what they had seen. Grandma Tracy had to sit down.

"You're the oldest, how could you have taken advantage of him this way.......Did you threaten him into it?" Virgil was still charging forward but now thankfully John had arrived to hold him back as Alan had turned into a statue.

" It was consensual he never forced him," John said as he struggled to keep Virgil from killing Scott which was now a real possibility.

"You.....You knew about this."  Virgil turned to John, " You did nothing, you allowed him to get away with what he did."

"Virgil did you not hear me, it was consensual sex between two adults in a relationship!!" He shouted the last part.

Grandma stood at this," Re...relationship." The level of hurt in her eyes was astounding," Couldn't you have found some else, for God's sake Scott this is incest, it is wrong!!!!"  Turning towards John,"And you, how could you let this happen." Her face changing from anger to accusation," Oh my God, The two of you used him." 

"What Grandma no I didn't touch either of them." John defended himself outraged, but she would hear none of it.

"Is that why you've taken a sudden interest in Alan trying to recruit him into your sick fantasy."

"Grandma stop." Alan sobbed," They haven't done anything to me."

"It was me." All heads shot to the side Scott was seated on the floor," John tried to stop it but I didn't listen."

"Scott......." John tried knowing once Scott admitted this he could all but kiss everything he'd worked so hard for goodbye and maybe his family too.

"It was the night Lady Penelope hurt his feelings he didn't take it well, I went to check on him and I saw the scars and the blade." A collective gasp was heard.

"He...He self-harms?" Brains said.

Scott nodded his head," Alan confirmed this, it was happening for 4 years." A tear sliding down his face," I tried spending more time with him to help him cope better and to show he always had a friend in me I didn't count on him to fall in love with me and I knew another rejection would hurt him."

"And you decided the best solution was to sl.....bed him?" Virgil raged," Do you even hear yourself, did you not think to get him professional help."

"We found him a psychiatrist but how would that have changed the fact he had fallen for me." Pushing himself off the ground,"Do you think I enjoyed having sex with him knowing I was the only person he's ever been with, or facing him every day knowing he was happy and it was all a lie." Tear's still falling," Yet none of that mattered, I'd have gladly given up my happiness to make sure he resorted to hurting himself again."

"But yet here we are." Kayo finally said,"Of all the stupid things you could do Scott."

 "You need to leave," Grandma said.

"I refuse too." Scott wasn't leaving especially when they still hadn't gotten any information about their brother.

"It wasn't a question." Grandma added," Stay away from him."

"You can't do that?" Scott said.

"His mental health has suffered because of you, I'm sure the doctors would sign off on it."

Between the wounded faces and those filled with anger Scott knew he'd lost the battle.  Silently turning and leaving.

It was another five hours before they had gotten news from the operating theatre that Gordon though severely weakened from blood loss was in serious but stable condition.

In that time John had come to offer him coffee and a shoulder to cry on, while Alan had come later still in shock but hugging him and telling him he would always love him and nothing would ever change that. 

 "Come to hit me again," Scott asked bitterly when Virgil took a seat beside him.

"Just tell me why Scott. Why didn't you come to me? why didn't you tell me?" 

"He didn't want anyone to know."

"I don't care if he did, I would've helped him, I would've helped you." Virgil almost pleaded.

"It's too late for that now." Closing his eyes and leaning his back against the wall. "What happens now?"

"I wish I knew." Following suit," I wish I knew."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
